the birth of an idea
If you've read my other two posts: 1- wow, thanks for stickin' with me; and 2 - you know the obvious - I'd been unhappy at my job for a while. And for a while, I did nothing about it.
It got worse and worse, until at one point I realized if I didn't create some sort of outlet for my angst, I'd lose it. Snap. Freak out. Go bananas (and not in a fun, Gwen-Stefani-like way).
So I started journaling. Like a hormonal teenager sharing her deepest secrets with her trusted dear diary, I let it all out on the page. Well, as much as I could without raising suspicion (I mean, who actually writes on paper anymore...?)
So I would pour out my heart and soul in my little notebook, tears staining the page (just kidding. Kind of.) As I got closer and closer to quitting, it became a crucial outlet for me, and something I'd recommend to anyone in a similar situation.
And one day, in the middle of an epic written rant, I had an idea. Or a question, rather: what am I passionate about? What gets me excited? What gets me fired up?
In my bedroom, my favorite quote is framed and hung on the wall (in two places, actually).
"Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."
I don't remember the first time I heard it (let's be honest, probably on Pinterest) but the minute I did - it struck a chord. I printed it out, framed it, and put it next to my bed. My soul was not on fire. It was the opposite: a soggy pile of ashes, no spark to be seen.
For my birthday, my older sister painted the quote on a beautiful canvas. But there was one small change that made a big difference.
"Be relentless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."
See it? "Relentless." Not "fearless." Relentless. Fearlessness is impossible - we all have fear. And, sure, some are brave enough to overcome that fear. But you can't have courage without fear. You can, though, be relentless in the face of fear. And that, to me, is a lot harder. And a lot more worth it.
So back to my big idea. I would quit my job, that much I'd decided. But I wasn't ready to jump into another one, not quite yet. What would I do? What would I want to do? I needed to find what set my soul on fire.
Comments