R.A.O.K. (look it up)
Throughout my day yesterday - from the early morning workout to the sushi dinner date with my boyfriend - I tried to weave in as many RAOKs as possible. And it was so, so fun.
At my workout, there was a woman on the treadmill next to me covered in colorful tattoos (the woman, not the treadmill), with long, gorgeous curly hair and a bright headscarf. She was stunning, even as we grunted and groaned up the horrible incline. I wanted to tell her I loved her vibe, but had never seen this woman before in my life. And know sometimes Random Acts Of Kindness a can come off as acts of creepiness. But - if I've learned anything from my grandma Mimi - it's to treat those around you, even the strangers, like friends. So I went for it. "Your hair is so beautiful. I love it." I panted after an especially tough running segment. She smiled and thanked me, and I felt great. I want to do that again, I thought.
On the way home from the gym - feeling high from the hair complimenting and splat pointing (it's an OTF thing, NBD) - I let not one but TWO cars get in front of me. In my two years living in Atlanta, I've never done that. Ever. (Maybe that's not something I should be proud of...) And you know what, I still got where I was going. Maybe I'll make a habit of it! Maybe.
I was looking forward to some more soul-igniting-RAOKs at my Genius Bar appointment. I've been told I'm a real toucher, and when I want to befriend someone new, the touching goes to a whole new level. Waiters, for example. I touch their arms when I say thanks. Their hands when we exchange menus. The soft parts of their inner elbows when they bring that gluten free soy sauce. Yesterday, I found myself touching the Genius's arm like we were best friends clinging on to each other for dear life ("each other" being used in the loosest sense here, I was the only one clinging). I can't say this warmth of the physical human connection had the desired effect on the poor guy. He wasn't feeling it (or was feeling too much of it, to be more accurate). Note to self - keep the attempted friendliness verbal. Oops.
Yesterday wasn't just day three of #30DaysOnFire, it was also my best friend from college's birthday. I couldn't compliment her hair (I've seen it before....) or touch her elbow (she lives in another state) so I had to get creative for this RAOK. I knew her boyfriend was taking her to a special surprise dinner, so I texted him and asked for the deets. Then I called the restaurant and asked them to send over a glass of bubbly to my friend once they arrived. But when they asked who the waiter should say sent the champagne, I didn't give my name. Too boring. I told them to say it was from Dylan Pheeny - a character my friend and I made up in college to catfish our friends (before we knew that kind of thing was illegal. Sorry.) All day, I was so excited thinking about what her reaction would be. And when she texted me that night, so shocked and surprised and touched, I knew it was mission accomplished. This is one of my absolute favorite tricks, and I highly recommend it. It's cheap, easy, and works for literally everyone (my sister once received a drink "from Harry Styles" when I couldn't make it home for her special night).
I squeezed in one or two more RAOKs (including complimenting the scent of our waitresses shampoo at dinner... again, I have a hard time with the fine line between kind and creep) and it made me feel so, so happy.
And you know what? I guess what goes around really does come around, and I was the recipient of one of the most generous, thoughtful acts of kindness myself last night. I had mentioned to my boyfriend a few days ago that I planned on doing some coloring with my elderly friend, but that I didn't have any coloring books or pencils. I'd forgotten we even had the conversation. Then last night, he surprised me with a bag full of beautiful brand new adult coloring books and artist-quality colored pencils. It meant more to me than he could ever imagine.
Spreading kindness is pretty great. Go ahead, give it a try. Minus the touching.
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